You damn kids! Get off Billy Wagner’s lawn!

Phormer Phillie (and, lest we forget, recipient of an EPIC Pat Burrell bitch-making…aaah, good times) Billy Wagner faced the Michigan Wolverines baseball team in an exhibition game in Port St. Lucie yesterday.

Tell us how it went, Billy?

Billy Wagner nearly started a beanball war with the University of Michigan after one overzealous Wolverine tried to bunt on him in the fourth inning. With a runner on second and one out, centerfielder Kevin Cislo pushed his bunt foul.

Wagner, clearly annoyed, shook his head a number of times, and Cislo wisely swung away, grounding out. Wagner said he couldn’t believe that Cislo, a junior, bunted.

“If he got that bunt down, I would have drilled the next guy,” Wagner said. “Play to win against Villanova.”

Billy’s a 37-year-old man. Billy’s probably forgotten more about baseball than I will ever know. So let me see if my 26-year-old girl brain can figure this out.

I’m pretty sure that bunting is part of the game. Once the ball’s put into play, the pitcher is a fielder just like everybody else. But I can understand how Wags would feel threatened by having to, y’know, field a ball…because he’s proven many, many times, that HE SUCKS AT FIELDING.

So I tip my hat to you, Kevin Cislo. Well done, good sir.

Hat tip to Phillies Nation.

7 Responses to “You damn kids! Get off Billy Wagner’s lawn!”

  1. Chamomiles Davis Says:

    “Play to win against Villanova.” Huh. What a little bitch Wagner is. I would have loved to see a Wolverine pitcher give that prick some chin music (assuming he actually came to bat).

  2. chasevidwrightley Says:

    Billy Wagner just gets more and more douchetastic every time I hear about him.

    And explain it to my still-learning-about-baseball-girl-brain, please…”Play to win against Villanova.”? Eh? ‘Splain plz.

  3. lynniemac Says:

    Michigan recently played Villanova, and did indeed, play to win so I’m guessing that’s what Billy Big Mouth is referring to.

    I’m older than Billy (only chronologically), but I’m a girl, so I’ll just defer to his no doubt far more vast baseball knowledge. See, I thought maybe Billy was pissed because little college boy could figure out how to exploit his fielding suckitude, but clearly, it’s just that Kevin Cislo shouldn’t have been playing to win.

    And if anyone ever did attempt to brush Billy back, he’d no doubt end up crying in the fetal position on the plate. I’d pay big money to see that. Cranky bitch.

  4. howdoyouspellretard Says:

    Billy’s not used to people bunting on him, he’s used to giving up game-winning home runs (i.e. Pat Burrell, Craig Biggio, Pat Burrell) and game winning singles (i.e. Chutley).
    Fuck the Mets.

  5. chasevidwrightley Says:

    OH!! Thanks, lynniemac, I get it now. :)

  6. SA Says:

    Is Billy Wagner bitter much? How about this-it’s a college team, go out there and beat them like you’re suppose to instead of playing them to a tie.

  7. lynniemac Says:

    You’re welcome, chasevidwrightley. I didn’t get it either, and it took me forever (in internet time, that is) to accidentally hit the right keywords in Google to figure out what the hell Billy was on about.

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