There’s no “I” in “team,” but there IS an “I” in “bitch”

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Since I know that my little blog is a must-read in the Phillies clubhouse, I’ll direct my comments right at Cole.

Cole, first let me say thank you for doing your interview with Meechie. You’re a good sport for answering all of his fun questions and my uptight one. You confirmed what I imagined to be the case, that your parents weren’t happy that you decided to skip college to go into the draft. Both of my parents were teachers too, and I know they would’ve been enraged if I told them that I wanted to skip college. I admire the courage it must have taken to deliver a bombshell like that.

But after your recent remarks in the press about how you feel you wouldn’t be on the DL if you had access to a chiropractor, and how you think you won’t come back to finish the season if the Phillies are too far out of the NL East or Wild Card races, “courageous” is not a word I would use to describe you. Off the top of my head, “precious,” “whiny,” and “entitled” are a few. I can think of a couple that would descibe how I feel, too: “furious” and “bitterly disappointed” are are a start.

I thought you were a gamer. I thought you were a team player. For someone who’s so confident in his abilities, don’t you think that maybe we’d have a chance to make it to the playoffs if you pitched? I’d love to know what Grampy Jamie and Chutley think of your remarks. I’m shocked that you’d say anything at all after Salisbury’s article about how in 20 seasons Tom Glavine has never been on the DL. I know you’re a young’un, but God, don’t they give you people media training?

As for your assertion that it’s hard to get chiropractor visits in on the road, how far in advance do you know what the team’s schedule for the season will be?  Six months?  Eight?  They announce the schedule to the public in January.  Is it that hard to call a bonecracker in Los Angeles in February and ask for an appointment in June, explaining that you’ll be in town then?  I am no paragon of common sense but doesn’t strike me as a particularly difficult situation to remedy.  Don’t you have a cell phone or a Blackberry so you can set little reminders for yourself?  I mean, I do stuff like that for myself all the time…and I don’t have a multimillion dollar contract riding on my performance at the office.  (Oh, right.  That.   The elephant in the room.)

Has it really been eight years since I applied to college? Has it really been that long since Ms. Fetters called me an “iconoclast” in the letter she sent to colleges about me? She told people that I had no compunction about destroying that which was important or precious or vaunted, that I’d say what needed to be said and do what needed to be done to expose truth [/pretentious]. Eight years later, I’m still doing it.

2 Responses to “There’s no “I” in “team,” but there IS an “I” in “bitch””

  1. chasevidwrightley Says:

    I wholeheartedly agree with, well, everything you’ve said. I was in more than a little disbelief last night when I saw Cole’s interview on (was it Post Game Live?) tv and when I read the article.

    What the fuck, Cole?! You’re in your second major league season (correct me if I’m wrong here), now is NOT the time to be a little prima donna.

    Not happy. Not happy at all. I’ve been hearing here and there that Cole is a bit of a diva, and I hate to believe it’s true, but if this is the precedent he’s setting…

  2. Texas Gal Says:

    He really infuriates me with this bullshit primadonna attitude. COLE- WE ARE FIGHTING FOR OUR LIVES TO TRY AND GET IN THE PLAYOFFS. RUB SOME DIRT ON IT AND GET OUT THERE AND PLAY, YOU BIG FAT WUSS.

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